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Feb 2, No Comments. Oct 25, No Comments. This might also help explain why the situation is more difficult for gay men than it is for lesbians: Those who survived the plague can only be grateful — yet, like you, these losses continue to prick our hearts. Ask yourself: Are you willing to do that? If the answer is yes, start by doing a quick search for your nearest L. Nationwide, our generation has founded its own social and support networks, like Prime Timers Worldwide with more than 80 chapters in the United States and a smattering overseas , Old Lesbians Organizing for Change and the National Association of Black and White Men Together.

I know, because one found me.

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How different do you think aging in our society is for gays versus straights? But again, I felt isolated because I was living in student accommodation with five straight guys I didn't identity with. So the behaviors I'd already displayed at home just continued in a different city, with much less parental supervision. I made one gay friend, who I'm actually close to now. But back then, we didn't really talk about things. We didn't really have a proper friendship. We both liked the Spice Girls, and that was enough for me.

We'd just go out to bars together and get so drunk that we couldn't remember how we got home.

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During this time, I had a brief dalliance with bulimia. All that happened was I would take a lot of laxatives, and then experience a great deal of pain. But I just felt like I needed to feel something, and I needed to feel in control of how lonely I felt. For me, alcohol was always the biggest problem.

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When I was 21, my first boyfriend broke up with me and I didn't have any coping mechanisms other than drinking. I just drank myself into oblivion—to the point where I got sacked from my bar job and had to take time off from my studies. I used alcohol for a number of reasons, but it was mainly so I could feel comfortable enough to go out and speak to people, and switch off everything going on in my head. I think I drank so I could switch off the loneliness. Things finally got better when I was in my late twenties.

By this time I was living in London and meeting people from different backgrounds and different parts of the world. Moving to a bigger city has been the best thing for me.

For the first time I've been able to form a good group of gay friends and create my own support network. I always thought finding a boyfriend would be a life-changer for me, but it was actually finding people on the same level as me, people with common interests. Lots of them are couples, but I guess that's just the way it is when you get to your late twenties and early thirties.

I really do feel much more comfortable now. But that underlying fear of being alone and lonely, and all the resentment that comes with that, is still very much there.